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There will always be jobs that nobody wants to do, and the purpose of this article is to ensure that you won’t have to do them. It lists a series of attitudes you’ll need to develop so that people will think twice before they ask you to do anything unpleasant or difficult. It also provides an idea of the kinds of excuses you can employ if the the worst comes to the worst and you are actually asked to act.
1. Wait until conditions are perfect
“The time isn’t right. I can’t do it until…”
2. Dwell on the negatives
“It will never work because…”
3. Over-analyse the situation
“Here are all the possible ways to achieve the goal, all the things that could happen if we go those ways, what we should do if we go off track, what we can do to mitigate the risks of going off track, how much each method will cost, the benefits and risks of each method…”
4. Always wait for permission
“No, it isn”t finished. I was waiting for you to give me the go-ahead on step 4096.”
5. Build your reputation as a non-doer.
“Someone else did it last time, so I don’t have the experience.”
6. Think of alternatives
“I really must get this done instead.”
7. Undervalue the rewards
“It isn’t really worth doing, is it? After all…”
8. Build up a fear of failure
“If we fail, things will be really bad. Really, really bad. So, perhaps we shouldn’t try.”
9. Insist that you will fail
“I tried it before, and look what happened!”
10. Just say no
“No.”
Nobody ever expects this one!
