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Everyone needs to believe in something, but does it really matter what? Of course it does. But don’t for one moment think that you need look for a religion that is actually true. There are more important things than that! So, if you’re looking for something worth signing up to, you might try asking the following questions:
1. Does it make you feel good?
If the answer is no, why go there? All this talk about sin and judgement can really get to you. Why bother with all that when all you want is something all nice and pink and fluffy? If religion tells you you’re fine as you are – that you don’t need to change one little bit – then at least it will be easy to follow. Better still, a guarantee of fame and fortune would go down nicely, don’t you think?
2. Will it get you in with the in crowd?
It is so nice to be part of the group, to feel like you belong, especially when the group has status and a string sense of exclusivity. A fine place to meet with great facilities are essential.A sauna, a gym, free child care and quality recreational facilities are a must. And if you get membership of the golf club too…
3. Do they have political clout?
We all want to influence the world for the better, don’t we? And what could be better than a government that benefits people like you? So go for a religion that’s in with the powerful, and you’ll soon have a voice that is heard.
4. Are the meetings full of energy?
As the poet said:
A little hype is great to get a meeting going
A little raw emotion is good to keep it flowing
A tidy little pep-talk never went amis
If it keeps ‘em coming back for more
And it keeps us getting rich
5. Do they rely on rites and rituals?
It is nice to be seen to be doing well, but how will other people know that you are better than them if you haven’t got the merit badge to prove it? Of course, nobody wants to change their lifestyle too much, so performing a few little rituals seems like a great way to earn brownie-points. Rituals have such aura of mystique, and soon become quaint traditions, devoid of meaning but full of kudos.
6. Do you actually have to believe?
Does it really matter? Its not as if you’re meant to take it seriously is it? Especially all that stuff about G-O-D. The thing you’d ever want to do is ask Him his opinion on all of this…
…isn’t it?
